2020 Election Prediction

With tomorrow’s historic election looming large over the landscape of America, I thought I’d take a minute to weigh in to get my official prediction on the books. I neglected to do so in 2016, largely because I didn’t want to get too political too quickly, but this time I feel pretty comfortable going on the books. Those of you who know me personally know that I was one of the few people to correctly predict a Trump victory and went as far as placing a bet on him to win before he had even won the primary. In the election I correctly predicted 48 of the 50 states (missing Michigan and Wisconsin). I do not predict the popular vote, because much like yards in a football game…
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Understanding the Packers Draft

If somehow, you’ve forgotten how last season ended for the Green Bay Packers I’d like to start this piece by reminding you. At halftime of the NFC Championship, the Pack found themselves down 27-0 after seeing the offense go through the following sequence of drives: punt, punt, punt, fumble (inside their own 30-yard line), interception, punt. None of those drives had gone longer than five plays. They converted zero third downs. ESPN win estimates gave the 49ers a win probability of 99.6 percent before the halftime show event started. Aaron Rodgers had 66 yards passing, two turnovers, and no points. If you check out the box score, the offense looks like it had a pretty good game. Rodgers had 300 yards and a few scores. Davante Adams had…
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Rules 3 and 4: Always Double on Eleven and Hedging is for Losers

If you’ve ever sat down and played blackjack anywhere, chances are that you’ve been lectured by some asshole about you not hitting when you were supposed to hit or staying when you weren’t supposed to stay. Maybe in some of them, you were that asshole. I certainly have been. The reason all of those people, well, certainly at least some of them, felt confident enough to make such bold declarations about your play is that the game of blackjack is relatively solved. What does that mean exactly? For every combination of cards you or the dealer might have, some nerd out there has figured out exactly what you should do. It’s so solved, in fact, that said nerds have compiled those scenarios into an easy to read chart, referred to…
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Let Him In: The Fiend and PirateMania

I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to finish this, but the context of when I’m writing this particular piece of the piece is important. It’s December 27th , 2019 and I’m in a coffee shop listening to Tom Petty and writing this article. As is the spirit of the times, I’ve been thinking about my life ten years ago and how different things now. Of that list, one item is particularly relevant for this article. I did not watch professional wrestling ten years ago. I was too cool for it. I had better things to do on Monday and Friday nights. All the wrestlers were lame. Or so I told myself. Ten years later has proven that none of those things are true. The biggest…
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Rule Two: Don’t Give Your Drugs to the Fiend

I’m sure a lot of you are interjecting one of the following right now: Drugs are bad! I don’t do drugs! How can you write about such a topic and expect to get away with it? Think of the children! A few counterpoints here. Drugs are great. You’re acting like a narc; and nobody likes a narc. There’s a good chance you’ve got a prescription in you or some beer or wine in your pantry at home, so consider the old glass house adage before you keep pressing. It’s a metaphor, so chill out and let it land. Kids do way more drugs than you’d imagine, and blindly telling them that they’re bad without a frank discussion of their usage is going to do more harm than good.…
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Rule One: Don’t Go Halfway to the Grocery Store

Last year, noted Canadian psychologist and accused hatemonger Jordan B. Peterson released a book entitled “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos”. To make a long book short, it gives a list of rules to live by that will help you to get your life in order and help you overcome the chaos in your life. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read. I took a lot of what it said to heart. I realized that I was committing a lot of sins in my life in the truest sense (the word sin originally means to miss the mark) and that I could be doing a better job. All of the rules are helpful, but one especially (tell the truth… or at least don’t lie) had…
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What’s NeXT?

This Wednesday everyone’s favorite indie style WWE based wrestling promotion finally gets a chance to step into the national spotlight when NXT broadcasts live on USA, giving the WWE a third presence on a major cable network. This is the first time WWE has added a weekly wrestling program on something other than their own WWE network in over 20 years. And for good reason. Primetime wrestling is a pretty risky investment. Just ask WCW. Or TNA. Or Lucha Underground. But as dicey as it might be NXT seems like a pretty safe investment given the quality, shelf life, and corporate support behind the brand. This has a good a chance as any to work. Well, this or a certain, vowel friendly promotion. Speaking of, NXT also provides…
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AEW’s Big Gamble

First they went all in. And, by all objective, measures, they won. Then they did their best James Holzhauer impression and really pushed their chips in for Double or Nothing. With three big shows (including a fifteen minute sellout) in the next few months, a TV contract with TNT that starts this year, and former WWE workhorse Dean Ambrose in tow, AEW is set to answer the most important question in professional wrestling: where do we go from here? Like most things, there’s an easy answer and one that’s a little less straight forward. The easy one, of course, is that the company focuses on next month’s Fyter Fest. With a card that already contains one of several dream matches that include the once and former Jon Moxley (Ambrose’s new…
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The Happiest Bracket on Earth (Part 4)

In my last piece dedicated to my insane venture of pitting Disney songs against each other in a march madness style bracket to determine the greatest song of all their animated movies, I mentioned that I would look at the second part of the Golden Age for my third piece. Technically, I’m going to hold myself to that. I’m just going to jump ahead to part four before I write part three. If you’re going to complain, save it, I heard enough of that from all of the Lion King stans after I apparently “disrespected” it in said piece. Unless you’re Elton John or Johnathon Taylor Thomas, I’m not all that concerned. If you are Elton John, you killed it in Kingsman II: The Golden Circle and I’m really looking forward to Rocketman…
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Ryan Braun’s Second (or Third) Act

If you’ve ever spent a few hours with me, there’s a good chance that I’ve made something very apparent to you: it’s not easy to tell a story. Or, maybe it is, and I’m just really bad at it. For the sake of this though, let’s just assume that I’m competent and that such a task is actually difficult. As much of a stretch as it might be. One of the complicating factors is that there’s a lot of ways to tell a story. You can read a book. Or listen to a podcast. Or watch a movie. You get it. Hell, even a pro wrestling match has a structure to telling a story. The point is, though they’re all very different, they all work in a very…
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