Understanding the Packers Draft

If somehow, you’ve forgotten how last season ended for the Green Bay Packers I’d like to start this piece by reminding you. At halftime of the NFC Championship, the Pack found themselves down 27-0 after seeing the offense go through the following sequence of drives: punt, punt, punt, fumble (inside their own 30-yard line), interception, punt. None of those drives had gone longer than five plays. They converted zero third downs. ESPN win estimates gave the 49ers a win probability of 99.6 percent before the halftime show event started. Aaron Rodgers had 66 yards passing, two turnovers, and no points. If you check out the box score, the offense looks like it had a pretty good game. Rodgers had 300 yards and a few scores. Davante Adams had…
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The New NFL Meta

Last week the 2018 NFL regular season concluded and the field for this years playoffs was crystallized. Twelve teams are now ready to square off for the Lombardi Trophy. The Saints and the Chiefs are the favorites to advance out of their respective conferences, with the Rams and the Patriots nipping closely at their heels. The rest of the field is filled with newcomers; in fact, every other team in the field (aside from the four previously mentioned ones), besides last years champion Philadelphia Eagles, were not in last years bracket. Though we have a lot of differences between the teams looking to dethrone Philly, they all have one thing in common: none of them have one of the five highest paid quarterbacks in the league on their…
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2018 NFL Worst Bets

It’s officially NFL Regular Season eve and wouldn’t you know it, I’ve been spending all of my writing time trying to perfectly capture the rise of Taylor Swift from starlet to Queen. So, given that, I’m really up against it here. Let’s dive right in. As always, all odds from Sportsbook.ag. Passing Yards Leader – Patrick Mahomes (25:1) Mahomes reminds me a lot of other big, athletic quarterbacks who have had a lot of success with Andy Reid masterminding their offense. He’s going to be slinging it a lot and Tyreek Hill is going to stretch a lot of 30 yard gains into 70 yard touchdowns. As usual, I’m betting someone with a little bit longer odds. I only have to hit one of these every three years…
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2018 NFL Mock Draft

If I can indulge myself for a moment, and of course I can because this is my blog, April has become my favorite month of the year. It opens with Opening Day, closes with the Kentucky Derby, and fits in Wrestlemania, the Masters, the NBA playoffs, the Daytona 500, and my personal favorite, the NFL Draft. As we’ve discussed before, one of the reasons I love the draft is because it does such a terrific job of making experts look tremendously foolish. If there’s one thing I truly relish, it’s people who talk with authority being knocked down a few pegs. Tomorrow night (or tonight I guess, whenever I end up publishing this), you can rest assured that nearly every single person every network chooses to put on…
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The Curious Case of DeShone Kizer

Losing is not fun. I realize this isn’t exactly prose that’s going to change literature, but sometimes the facts don’t need to be painted with beautiful reds and blues and oranges and purples. Sometimes, black and white do just fine. And one of the black and white facts of the world is that nobody likes to lose. That’s not to say that there aren’t valuable lessons one can learn in defeat, but I think it’s safe to say that nobody likes it. Well, unless you’re a fourth of the teams in the NBA. Then I guess you’re okay with it. Memphis Grizzlies aside, you can understand how, in the early period of free agency, Packer fans across the nation were experiencing a wide range of emotion when they heard the…
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Divisional Round Pre-Mortem

Picture yourself nearly a month from now. You’re sitting in front of the television anxiously awaiting the start of Super Bowl VLXLI (or whatever the Roman numerals are for this years affair in Minneapolis). As you watch the teams take the field, you can’t help but think back to the games over the last few weeks. As you slip into a wing-induced coma, presumably not seeing your favorite team running onto the field, you ask yourself a question: where did it all go wrong? Believe it or not, the five or ten (or fifteen) beers you drank have given you the ability to think like a nobel prize winning psychologist. Well, more or less. The point is that you’re asking the right question, just… not necessarily at the…
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Let’s Keep This Up

A few interesting things happened in the NFL last week: Matt Stafford threw 4 TDs (MVP) The Patriots lost to the Chiefs (over wins) and looked vulnerable doing it (Field against Pats to win SB) The Jets look as bad as advertised (Jets under) The Packers beat the Seahawks (no money, just fuck the Seahawks) Let’s keep this up! There were other things I wanted to write about this week. Roman Reigns and John Cena are on fire. Kevin Owens might have had the most interesting segment in months. The new season of Bojack Horseman dropped and gave me a horrifying glance into the looking glass of the future. My thoughts on the new Kesha album (flame emoji out of flame emoji). But, man, watching those games play…
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2017 Draft – Five Things I like

1. The Cleveland Browns play the game I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I was really impressed with the work they were able to do this past weekend, especially in the first round. Getting the drafts best player and then trading down to get a talented offensive weapon AND THEN trading up to get a versatile player for both your defense and special teams, well, that’s good drafting. At least it appears that way right now. There’s always a disclaimer when it comes to draft evaluation because you have to look at how well the team performed in the game that is the 2017 draft. It’s pretty hard to actually judge how good players are going to be down the road, though that certainly plays into it. The…
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My take at the first round

I can’t believe I got roped into this again. I’ve said it time and time again before… mock drafts are a waste of time. This is going to be very VERY inaccurate when you stack it up against what actually happens tonight, but that’s because it’s the nature of the game. The most accurate prognosticator will be lucky to get ten of these picks right. But I can’t help but think “what if that’s me“? So, I’m going to take a crack at it. We’ll see how it shakes out. Hopefully I get at least one of these picks right. My personal opinion? The over/under is at 3.5 out of 32. Pick 1. Cleveland Browns – Mitchell Trubisky Everyone knows that no NFL team would be foolish enough to pass on…
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Betting the NFL Draft

On Thursday night one of my favorite events of the year goes down: the NFL draft. Fun fact about me – I love drafts of pretty much any kind. Well, except for the apparent impending draft related to World War III… that one I’m not so jazzed about. But the rest of them, they’re great. And the NFL Draft is at the top of the heap. Another fact about me that you already know is that I fucking LOVE gambling. So this is a rare opportunity to stick my piggish little face in two very tasty troughs at the same time. It’s one of my favorite double dips of the year for a few reasons, chiefly because though the draft itself is good enough, gambling always makes everything…
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