WWE Top Fifty – Part IV – A New HHHope

#19 – John Cena Is Cena’s time up? It’s hard to say. He’s been less of a regular feature this year, limping into mania for a glorified comedy segment and disappearing from television shortly thereafter. It seems like the WWE is starting to leave him behind as a weekly attraction and is content to roll him out as a part timer as he transitions from in-ring to on screen stardom. And that’s fine. Cena is a still a huge draw for Summerslam, Wrestlemania, and any other event that needs a ratings pump. He’s still got a good story in the tank for his record breaking title run and he would instantly put any new federation on the map. The question is, how involved will be in three years?…
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WWE Top Fifty – Part III – Revenge of the Drifter

#29 – Andrande Cien Almas The WWE loves to have Superstars that are huge in a particular market or demographic. Roman Reigns and John Cena appeal to younger fans, Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles appeal to former fans of New Japan Pro Wrestling, Seth Rollins to fans of the indies, etc. Almas, formerly La Sombra and the youngest ever champion of one of Mexico’s biggest promotions (CMLL), fits that to a tee. The WWE is constantly trying to find the next big Lucha draw, and they might have finally found it after years of ineffectually shoving Alberto Del Rio down our throats. Almas has mega–star power in a very large market and has shown he can carry an entire promotion. Plus at age 28 he still has a ton…
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WWE Top Fifty – Part II: The Legend of Randy’s Gold

  #39 – Alexa Bliss If you’ve got beef with one of the current Women’s champions being this low on the list, I have to admit that Sunday’s Money in the Bank event might have left a bad taste in my mouth. Look, I get that Bliss is a very talented young lady who is definitely very over with certain crowds (who have more hair on their necks than the national average), but the amount of time she’s getting at the top of a very stacked women’s division is getting to be a little much. Her sneers and jeers are on point, but I have trouble buying into a competitor who is shorter than most middle schoolers. That’s not to say she isn’t talented, she just wouldn’t be my pick.  Someone in the WWE…
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WWE Top Fifty – Part I

It’s that time of the year again. The beautiful stretch of time between the eventful seven rounds of the NFL Draft and before the equally as eventful first five to seven picks of the NBA Draft. And hat means it’s time for me to follow suit and develop my board of the top prospects in the WWE. As a reminder, I’m looking at all of the Superstars on the roster as if I were starting a new promotion. I’m balancing age, in ring acumen, drawing ability, injury history, basically everything that makes a pro wrestler. Note that the WWE’s treatment of the Superstar does play a part. I understand they’re wrong a lot of the time, but I have to trust their opinion to some degree. If someone…
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2018 NFL Mock Draft

If I can indulge myself for a moment, and of course I can because this is my blog, April has become my favorite month of the year. It opens with Opening Day, closes with the Kentucky Derby, and fits in Wrestlemania, the Masters, the NBA playoffs, the Daytona 500, and my personal favorite, the NFL Draft. As we’ve discussed before, one of the reasons I love the draft is because it does such a terrific job of making experts look tremendously foolish. If there’s one thing I truly relish, it’s people who talk with authority being knocked down a few pegs. Tomorrow night (or tonight I guess, whenever I end up publishing this), you can rest assured that nearly every single person every network chooses to put on…
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Doors Open, Doors Close

I would think you know the expression: when one door closes, another door opens. And, yes, I know, it sounds like a useless truism aimed solely at making someone else feel less miserable. This one especially so, because you’re usually saying it to someone who (or when you yourself) just went through something supremely shitty. It’s exactly the type of thing you’d say to someone who might have been forced out of their job to a potentially deadly injury or someone who is so depressed that they’re considering suicide. In both of those cases, the words probably seem extra trite. But as we saw over Wrestlemania weekend, sometimes, just because something might be a little cliched, doesn’t mean it isn’t sometimes true. Exhibit A is Paige, former WWE Diva…
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The Curious Case of DeShone Kizer

Losing is not fun. I realize this isn’t exactly prose that’s going to change literature, but sometimes the facts don’t need to be painted with beautiful reds and blues and oranges and purples. Sometimes, black and white do just fine. And one of the black and white facts of the world is that nobody likes to lose. That’s not to say that there aren’t valuable lessons one can learn in defeat, but I think it’s safe to say that nobody likes it. Well, unless you’re a fourth of the teams in the NBA. Then I guess you’re okay with it. Memphis Grizzlies aside, you can understand how, in the early period of free agency, Packer fans across the nation were experiencing a wide range of emotion when they heard the…
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Reality vs. Fantasy

I’ve talked, at length, about the importance of setting appropriate expectations in the past. I’ve written on and on about how, if you expect one thing and get another, you’re going to have a bad time. This seems like common sense, sure, but try telling that to fans of professional wrestling this time of the year. With the Royal Rumble upon us, it’s time for all of us to fantasy book ourselves into a frenzy… only for that frenzy to end in disappointment. It’s not as if it’s hard to figure out why that’s the case. We’ve gotten exciting rumbles before, for example when John Cena and Edge returned in 2008 and 2010 to win their respective rumbles after being out with injuries. Shawn Michaels went bell to bell. Stone…
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Divisional Round Pre-Mortem

Picture yourself nearly a month from now. You’re sitting in front of the television anxiously awaiting the start of Super Bowl VLXLI (or whatever the Roman numerals are for this years affair in Minneapolis). As you watch the teams take the field, you can’t help but think back to the games over the last few weeks. As you slip into a wing-induced coma, presumably not seeing your favorite team running onto the field, you ask yourself a question: where did it all go wrong? Believe it or not, the five or ten (or fifteen) beers you drank have given you the ability to think like a nobel prize winning psychologist. Well, more or less. The point is that you’re asking the right question, just… not necessarily at the…
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Let’s Keep This Up

A few interesting things happened in the NFL last week: Matt Stafford threw 4 TDs (MVP) The Patriots lost to the Chiefs (over wins) and looked vulnerable doing it (Field against Pats to win SB) The Jets look as bad as advertised (Jets under) The Packers beat the Seahawks (no money, just fuck the Seahawks) Let’s keep this up! There were other things I wanted to write about this week. Roman Reigns and John Cena are on fire. Kevin Owens might have had the most interesting segment in months. The new season of Bojack Horseman dropped and gave me a horrifying glance into the looking glass of the future. My thoughts on the new Kesha album (flame emoji out of flame emoji). But, man, watching those games play…
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